Liverpool FC Forum

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 10:43 pm**

Now theres a jokes thread. And some corkers in there. So why not a Limerick one? Heres I couple I know feel free to add your beautys !

There was a young lady named Heath
Who circumcised men with her teeth
It wasnt for money
or anything funny
It was because of the cheese underneath.

There was a young vampire named Mable
Whose periods were very unstable
One night at full moon
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.

There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil.

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:14 pm**

our friend karhaz had trouble with sleeping
and at times found himself quite close to weeping
his wife was quite frank
and said 'go have a W*nk'
but judge, barry and maypax were peeping

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:18 pm**

There was a young man from Brazil
Who swallowed a dynamite pill
His heart retired
his bum backfired
and his dick flew over the hill

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:20 pm**

andy_g wrote:our friend karhaz had trouble with sleeping
and at times found himself quite close to weeping
his wife was quite frank
and said 'go have a W*nk'
but judge, barry and maypax were peeping

Kunt!

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:23 pm**

our leon was newkit's big mod
who sometimes liked to play god
one day he met stu
and said 'how do you do?'
then ripped the head right off the sod

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:24 pm**

andy_g wrote:our friend karhaz had trouble with sleeping
and at times found himself quite close to weeping
his wife was quite frank
and said 'go have a W*nk'
but judge, barry and maypax were peeping

Classy !

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:27 pm**

Andy G, Newkit Limerick Laureate!

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:28 pm**

barry loves newkit and he's staying
as long as his friends say they're playing
he becomes quite the ranter
on 5 pints of fanta
but we've got f'uck all clue what he's saying

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:30 pm**

There was a young sailor called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold :censored:

But think of the money he saved!

Posted: **Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:31 pm**

bad bob's a canadian mountie
who'll do anything for a plain chocolate bountie
he once snogged a moose
that he'd trapped in a noose
and was forced at gun point from the county

Posted: **Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:21 am**

There was a poster named Stu
Who told everyone to "get a clue"
He may have personal issues
So pass him the tissues
Cos he spouts nothing but poo.

Posted: **Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:01 am**

Kharhaz,he cant get no kip
He asked on Newkit for a tip
Pull your co'ck they said
He pulled until it was red
He blew his marbles good and proper
Went to bed................
His misssus wanted to feel his nopper
He fought,said no,but could'nt stop 'er
She yanked it and pulled like a gearstick
How can ya sleep with a sore di'ck?
Ya cant ya see!

Posted: **Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:05 am**

Number 9 wrote:Kharhaz,he cant get no kip
He asked on Newkit for a tip
Pull your co'ck they said
He pulled until it was red
He blew his marbles good and proper
Went to bed................
His misssus wanted to feel his nopper
He fought,said no,but could'nt stop 'er
She yanked it and pulled like a gearstick
How can ya sleep with a sore di'ck?
Ya cant ya see!

You have no idea how much I wish I was asleep right now reading this ! :laugh:

Posted: **Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:53 am**

Number 9 wrote:Kharhaz,he cant get no kip
He asked on Newkit for a tip
Pull your co'ck they said
He pulled until it was red
He blew his marbles good and proper
Went to bed................
His misssus wanted to feel his nopper
He fought,said no,but could'nt stop 'er
She yanked it and pulled like a gearstick
How can ya sleep with a sore di'ck?
Ya cant ya see!

andy_g wrote:barry loves newkit and he's staying
as long as his friends say they're playing
he becomes quite the ranter
on 5 pints of fanta
but we've got f'uck all clue what he's saying

Posted: **Fri Oct 03, 2008 4:08 am**

there was a young man named crocket
he went to the moon in a rocket
the rocket went bang
his braces went twang
and his balls ended up in his pocket

Liverpool FC Forum

Limericks - Post your funniest !

Limericks - Post your funniest !