The Real World - The Dog and Gorilla

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Postby Judge » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:13 pm

overflow pipes come out from the top side of the wall not the roof
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Postby woof woof ! » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:19 pm

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  One day while they were walking past the  hospital swimming pool.  Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.


Edna promptly jumped in to save him.  She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the hospitals Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.




When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.  I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.  I am so sorry, but he's dead.'




Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.  How soon can I go home?'



:(


:D
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Postby Sabre » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:29 pm

Cheers for the explanation woof!
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Postby woof woof ! » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:39 pm

Sabre wrote:Cheers for the explanation woof!

No probs Sabre, btw the "Rioja region" , I always thought Rioja was a general term for Spanish red wine, never knew it was an actual region, you learn something everyday in this forum, most of it sh'ite but now and again worthwhile.   :D
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Postby Judge » Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:56 pm

woof woof ! wrote:Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  One day while they were walking past the  hospital swimming pool.  Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.


Edna promptly jumped in to save him.  She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the hospitals Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.




When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.  The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.  I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.  I am so sorry, but he's dead.'




Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.  How soon can I go home?'



:(


:D

what a hero edna was  :D
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Postby Judge » Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:01 pm

a teacher asks her class to think of long word that describes something that eats another ending in TOR!!

little dawson puts his hand up and says ''alligator''

''well done, and a long word'' says the teacher.

then barry puts his hand up and says ''predator''

''well done'' says the teacher another long word.

lando puts his hand up and says ''vibrator''

the teacher exclaimed ''thats not something that eats anything''

lando replies ''thats not what my sister says, she says it eats batteries like fu'ck''

:D
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Postby Sabre » Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:08 pm

woof woof ! wrote:
Sabre wrote:Cheers for the explanation woof!

No probs Sabre, btw the "Rioja region" , I always thought Rioja was a general term for Spanish red wine, never knew it was an actual region, you learn something everyday in this forum, most of it sh'ite but now and again worthwhile.   :D

Yeh, the Riojas are the most known Spanish wines, and Spanish wines normally have the name of the place they're from. Besides Don Simon which doesn't count and it's just chemical wine :D, you have the Ribera de Dueros, the Jerez, the Rose wines of Navarra, etc.

La Rioja is a region which is mostly known for their wines, if any of you come by I will happily show you besides the big industries of wine, how wine was done in the last century and the previous wine. Stepping on the grapes and then with a wooden press

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Good stuff  :nod I preffer those young ntural wines over the industrial ones, too much chemicals to the wine in the last decades mate. My own family has vineyards and I can send wine to everyone of you for free, but the problem is that the charges of posting are expensive. Count with a box of free wine whoever comes to that part of Spain (Andy has an invitation for when he has time), Sabre invites.

La Rioja, Aragon and Castilla are for me the greatest unknowns of Spanish tourism. You find good weather there, you have mountains and plenty of swimming pools to spend a perfect summer, and lots of historical ruins and churches if you like that kind of stuff. Perhaps it's me that having a beach in my town I don't need it un summer, but I'm more happy in a swimming pool with grass than in the beach. Great place for biking and hiking too! that's my perfect holidays, I don't change it for Benidorm or Torremolinos (who like every Spaniard I already know).

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This is a view of the surroundings of my village, lots of fruit trees, vineyards and mountains surrounding wide valleys with clean rivers. Love it. Peace, and the only noises you hear are those of birds and small insects.
Last edited by Sabre on Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby woof woof ! » Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:32 pm

Looks great Sabre, any fish in those rivers ?

As for the wine. We probably drink more Spanish wine than any other , particularly fond of the wines produced by Bodegas Berberana.
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Postby Sabre » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:57 pm

Yeh there's fish in those rivers and many fishing lovers do that, the only limitation they have is times of the year in which they can fish. In certain parts of the year the local government doesn't allow fishing I guess for recovery reasons. I never got started in the fishing thing... I might try it out some day, but I don't know where to start and I hate frustrating starts in new activities :)

The main fish you can find in those rivers is the trout, it's a good fish for cooking. Then there are lots of other small fishes I don't know to translate, and it depends in which height you fish, that river goes from 2400m to 800m in height over the sea and depending where you are you fish diferent species.
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:10 pm

what's the best word for poo?

right now i reckon it's LOG  :nod
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Postby woof woof ! » Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:57 pm

:) , F'uck it Sabres, I don't know that much about fishing either but your backyard looks so good maybe one day i'll pay you a visit and we'll go fishing , even if it means we have to bomb the river to get some dinner :D .

More seriously, looks to me like you're living in a very special place.
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Postby Kharhaz » Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:45 pm

Teacher in school turns to the kids having written the word "CONTAGIOUS" on the board.

"Okay kids, I want you to form a statement using this word, contagious, in that statement. Who wants to go first?"

Little Alice put her hand up and said "Well, my auntie had a rash on her arm but she had to treat it with cream and keep it covered as its contagious."

"Very good !" said the teacher, "anyone else?"

Little Mary pops up her hand and says "We was watching TV last night and on the news they said about a virus going round that if you catch it you have to stay indoors until your cured as it is very contagious."

"Excellent" said the teacher "one more then we will move on"

Little Tommy puts his hand up and says "Well miss, I was sat in my dads car as we was driving around town and we was behind a truck loaded with oranges and the truck had to swerve as a dog ran out in front of it. As it swerved the truck tilted a bit and all the oranges littered across the road and my dad said its going to take that contagious to pick that lot up !"

:D
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Postby redbeergoggles » Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:56 am

Duck walks into pub says to landlord "got any bread ",  Landlord says" ive told you every f*cking day this week no f*cking bread "now f*ck off .
a couple of mins later duck walks in again "Got any bread " , Landlord replies Listen you irritating tw@t I will nail your b@stard beak to that bar if you ask again ,Duck says" Got any nails " , Landlord says" no "  ,duck says got any bread . :D
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Postby bigmick » Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:08 am

redbeergoggles wrote:Duck walks into pub says to landlord "got any bread ",  Landlord says" ive told you every f*cking day this week no f*cking bread "now f*ck off .
a couple of mins later duck walks in again "Got any bread " , Landlord replies Listen you irritating tw@t I will nail your b@stard beak to that bar if you ask again ,Duck says" Got any nails " , Landlord says" no "  ,duck says got any bread . :D

:D

On the sbject of wine, I really like that Albarinio (think that's how you spell it) which I'm fairly sure is a Spanish wine. It's like an especially dry Sauvignin Blanc with a really clean finish.

I'm no wine buff and just like what I like, but I think it's a beautiful drink. Rioja is lovely too, but I really like the other one.
"se e in una bottigla ed e bianco, e latte".
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Postby SupitsJonF » Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:46 am

2 year relationship just ended :(
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