The Real World - The Dog and Gorilla

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Postby taff » Fri May 16, 2008 5:43 pm

Fake your own death and film her reaction to it. If she is devestated then surprise her with a bunch of flowers and a winning smile.  If she is upset but strangely relieved then pretend to be a ghost that cant move on until you know what was bugging your girlfriend, women are daft about things like that, ghost, star signs tarrot cards etc and she will definitely confess all.

Then if its a small issue like you leaving the loo seat up etc you can say that the Lord has given you one more chance but if its an affair or something like that then go BOO at the top of your voice and throw all her shoes into a river

Alternatively write and send her a letter from yourself obviously stating your feelings for her and asking her whats wrong as sometimes its easier to do this not in person.  She will think its quirky and romantic especially if you buy champagne or something after she has read the letter and has tears of joy.  But again if its bad just take a dump in the middle of the front room and run out saying its all her fault.

Letters are better than email it shows the effort from your behalf, for some reason birds like to see effort apart from Mrs Taff who was not impressed when I drank 20 pints in one day with only a small amount of drugs to help me :angry:   Even buying her a curry was not enough :angry:  In fact can you give me advice abut Mrs Taff :sniffle
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Postby shanks72 » Sat May 17, 2008 9:43 pm

dawson99 wrote:anyone else just looknig forward to autumn? too fecking hot, sat here in a shirt and tie... i want cold!!!

Always look forward to autumn....

(tend to get headaches in the sun)....

And love it when the clocks go back, never can get used to this hour.....

Although the sun is lovely for drying the washing!

I'll stop waffling now....and looks like autumn's come early... even got the heating on now!
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deuteronomy 33:27
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Postby shanks72 » Sat May 17, 2008 9:45 pm

dawson99 wrote:well peeps, off to glasgow for a week, gonna be legendary

laters! :D


Have a good hols, dawsino!  :)
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Postby shanks72 » Sat May 17, 2008 9:51 pm

Judge wrote:
7_Kewell wrote:
Judge wrote:
Woollyback wrote:very

filthy boy

i agree....can one of the mods ban him for this disgusting behaviour  :no


:D

yeah, and he's an damn insurance saleman also  :D


And I always thought he was un undertaker....  :Oo:
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underneath are the everlasting arms
deuteronomy 33:27
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Postby Woollyback » Sat May 17, 2008 10:59 pm

shanks72 wrote:
Judge wrote:
7_Kewell wrote:
Judge wrote:
Woollyback wrote:very

filthy boy

i agree....can one of the mods ban him for this disgusting behaviour  :no


:D

yeah, and he's an damn insurance saleman also  :D


And I always thought he was un undertaker....  :Oo:

i used to be an undertaker but it's a dying trade so i quit
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby Thingy » Sun May 18, 2008 2:48 am

Judge wrote:have you noticed her wandering eye, and is there any other men she is speaking to regular?

dump her, theres plenty more fish in the sea mate

tbh, if she's always wanting arguments, see what that may feel like for the rest of your life!

or is it the time of the month :D

Been time of the month for about 7 months i think mate  :D  still dont know where were gunna end up. Thanks everyone for advice, as ive said im no Trisha in these circumstances.
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Postby shanks72 » Sun May 18, 2008 7:41 pm

Woollyback wrote:
shanks72 wrote:
Judge wrote:
7_Kewell wrote:
Judge wrote:
Woollyback wrote:very

filthy boy

i agree....can one of the mods ban him for this disgusting behaviour  :no


:D

yeah, and he's an damn insurance saleman also  :D


And I always thought he was un undertaker....  :Oo:

i used to be an undertaker but it's a dying trade so i quit


:D
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REST IN PEACE DRUMMERPHIL, YNWA

underneath are the everlasting arms
deuteronomy 33:27
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Postby andy_g » Sun May 18, 2008 8:01 pm

andy_g sinks into nostalgic reverie about the 'whats your occupation' thread...
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Postby shanks72 » Sun May 18, 2008 8:35 pm

Thingy wrote:
Judge wrote:have you noticed her wandering eye, and is there any other men she is speaking to regular?

dump her, theres plenty more fish in the sea mate

tbh, if she's always wanting arguments, see what that may feel like for the rest of your life!

or is it the time of the month :D

Been time of the month for about 7 months i think mate  :D  still dont know where were gunna end up. Thanks everyone for advice, as ive said im no Trisha in these circumstances.


Hope it works out for you ok, Thingy....

maybe you should say you need some time out and let her realise what she's missing....

I dunno, I'm no expert, esp. with men...

All the best anyways...

:)
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underneath are the everlasting arms
deuteronomy 33:27
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Postby Woollyback » Sun May 18, 2008 9:15 pm

andy_g wrote:andy_g sinks into nostalgic reverie about the 'whats your occupation' thread...

go on son, dig it up :nod
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Postby andy_g » Sun May 18, 2008 9:21 pm

bish, bash, bosh


:nod
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Postby jonnymac1979 » Sun May 18, 2008 9:25 pm

Thingy lad, dump the bird, then get yourself and all your lads on the first plane to Slutsville*.  Will take your mind off her and you'll wonder why you bothered with her in the first place.

*This place doesn't really exist, what I meant was Magaluf, Benidorm, Ibiza, Malia, Kavos etc...  in my experience, plenty of gold in them there hills.
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Postby Sabre » Sun May 18, 2008 9:35 pm

Thingy, normally when I talk about girls I do it with lots of smileys and with a pinch of salt, but since I was in a very similar situation 5 years ago, I will tell you my honest opinion.

"Dump her" told me a friend of Leeds he was studying at the time here in San Sebastian. And I fúcking should have done it much before than I did.

It was a nightmare, I don't like to discuss and reaching 5 mins late could mean an afternoon of quarrels. The sex was great, but you cannot keep a relationship just with sex. At least not me. When I go out of work, I need some calmness, not to discuss everyday. The first days will be hard, you'll think you'll miss her, but it's the best thing you can do.

When I dumped that girl I thought I was totally incompatible with any woman :D, but at the end, always appears the proper one :;):
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Postby Woollyback » Sun May 18, 2008 11:37 pm

tell her you fancy a bit of backdoor action. she'll soon feck off
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Postby LFC2007 » Mon May 19, 2008 12:51 am

:laugh:
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