Liverpool FC Forum

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:07 am

shanks72 wrote: Yeah....

It wouldn't cut and paste and I accidentally posted just the intro'....

(I know I could've posted the link only, but wanted the 'transcript' posted as well.)

Then I was interupted by 2 phone calls from mates....and then had to get a bed ready for my son's mate who is sleeping over...
and then I finally got to post the rest...

And now I'm off to bed..

Goodnight all...

And you think thats a good excuse ! Typical

by **shanks72** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:10 am

by **Judge** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:01 am

Woollyback wrote:who the feck let judge have a computer at home where he can't be watched?

by **metalhead** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:38 pm

Good evening everyone

by **Judge** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:39 pm

metalhead wrote:Good evening everyone

do not say that MH, as it does dawsons head in, dunno why, it just does

by **woof woof !** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 9:12 pm

metalhead wrote:Good evening everyone

Strebe Grebeling

(anyone remember the reference ?)

by **Woollyback** » Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:30 am

feck knows woof, but i went go karting in warrington this evening, it's the absolute dog's rod. anyone who's never tried it should just do it :buttrock

but i'm aching like buggery already, gonna be like a plank of wood tomorrow...

by **woof woof !** » Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:27 am

Interview with Sir Arthur Streeb Greebling

by **woof woof !** » Sun Feb 24, 2008 11:00 am

Sir Arthurs restaurant "The Frog and Peach"

by **dawson99** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:42 pm

Peter cook is an absolute genius... him and dudley..got some of the tapes at home...

...so i kicked her in the 'blank'

Cant see that being asked on tv

by **woof woof !** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:55 pm

Love the "Pete and Dud" sketch where they're in an art gallery discussing great painting.

"You can tell it's a great painting , 'cause the eye's follow you round the room"

by **metalhead** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:28 pm

A Diary of a woman

Day 1

Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2

Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3

This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.

Day 4

A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5

What absolute bliss!!

Day 6

Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.

Day 7

This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8

I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9

No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10

Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over....

Day 11

I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.

Day 12

I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous...

Day 13

Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the [#@!$].

Day 14

I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!

Day 15

I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did.

Day 16

The [#@!$] has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17

Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again!

Day 18

He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!

--------------

by **account deleted by request** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:10 pm

by **woof woof !** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:38 pm

Even yawning has become dangerous...

That line is killin' me :laugh:

by **dawson99** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:04 am

Wasnt on this site yesterday... met a bird. was going fine until she said she had something she had to tell me.

She told me that she used to be a hooker. I said that we all had our secrets and that kind of thing wouldnt bother me. I actually found it kind of erotic so i asked for a few mroe details.

She replied "well my name was nigel and i played for wigan"

Turns out

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