Liverpool FC Forum

by **woof woof !** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 11:41 am

Steak and Chips
or
Egg and Chips
or
Beans and Chips
or
Fish and Chips
or
Curry and Chips
or
a Chip Butty

decisions decisions
:sniffle

by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 11:47 am

steak egg beans and chips...duh :cool:

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:03 am

Coming soon to a bank robber near you :- fantastic new shotgun

by **zarababe** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:13 pm

taff wrote:Its half a portion of chips anf half a portion of rice. I think it only happens in Wales, very popular

Next time your in Cardiff and have a curry ask for half and half

is it any wonder they say 'indian' food is the no1 food in Britain ... me gran would be turnin in her grave - fancy a half and half gran

BTW is that with or without a 'chicken tikaa masala' ?

Talkin of half-and-halfs - me little babe had a cheese roll with rice for her school dinner yesterday :Oo:

- 'How come' I asked 'well mummy' she replied ' they ran out of all the gravy that goes with the rice - so they said they'd make me a cheese roll' :lookaround

any wonder half-and-halfs will catch on

by **dawson99** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 4:30 pm

rice and a cheese roll? hmmm, bizarre.

another fun day eh peeps

by **woof woof !** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 10:35 pm

dawson99 wrote:another fun day eh peeps

So there I am camped on a beach just outside Nacala Porto. Frelimo have mined the roads and the only way out of here is gonna be by boat. Been livin' on coconuts, green bananas and condensed milk for a couple of days. Funny how you can feel shipwrecked even though you're not on an island.

Wake up to the sound of a boat being dragged ashore, hallafuc'kin lulyah ! , couple of local fisherman, I've got cigarettes and they've got fish.

Of course they don't speak english , just a mixture of Swahili and Portugese , but what the f'uck , a smile and a filter tipped ciggy is the same in any language.

One fella's got a gash on his thumb , so as we sit around a fire as his mates cook some Barracuda I dig into my first aid kit , (needle, thread, elastoplast and a tube of germoline ) and sew the f'ucker up.

Out with the map, pointing at Madagascar and repeating "Barco, Barco" only elicits stares that evidently show that maybe I'm the only one thats "Barco" or barking at this particular beach party.

Suns gone down , couple of fella's that took their catch to market have returned and bringing with them some incredible weed. Some time later, F'uck ! , loved the fish but now I've got the munchies, what I wouldn't give for some more Coconut, Bananas and condensed milk right now.

Out of the darkness my (by now) mate with the sewn up thumb appears and motions me to follow him, gotta admit, as much as I liked these fella's I wasn't totally comfortable at the prospect of wandering of into the african bush in the middle of the night with a fella that just smiled when you stitched up his thumb with a size 11 needle and some cotton, but wtf.

Led me to a secluded spot and there lying on her back was the local bike , christ , thats all I need (not really), not wanting to offend by refusing his gift I did what a mans gotta do.

Returning to the fire, I was met by flashing grins and digs in the ribs , my "mate" then pointed to the sky and made a circular motion with his hand followed by mimicking someone receiving an injection.

It dawned on me that he was tellin' me to visit a doctor and get a jab of penicilin'

:wwww

That peeps , was a fun day.

by **Woollyback** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:11 pm

woof you dirty dawg :laugh:

couldn't you have just slipped her a banana instead?

by **woof woof !** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:40 am

Not the best place to store yer breakfast Woolly .

by **dawson99** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:57 am

ok, your story beats my day at work, altho i did lose 50p in the coke machine... which is sort of the same?

by **shanks72** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:42 pm

Another joke from my bro....

'Woman seeks man with own house.......

please send pic of house' :wwww

(Not me 'tho as I've given up men....oh yes!...)

by **account deleted by request** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:53 pm

shanks72 wrote:Another joke from my bro....

'Woman seeks man with own house.......

please send pic of house'

(Not me 'tho as I've given up men....oh yes!...)

Welcome back Shanks. Not all men are all selfish egotistical, chauvinistic pigs, its just us lucky few.

by **account deleted by request** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:47 am

For Shanks

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit
they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

by **dawson99** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:23 pm

is it just me or has this site been going completely t!ts up this evening?

by **account deleted by request** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:20 pm

dawson99 wrote:is it just me or has this site been going completely t!ts up this evening?

Why whats been happening? If you mean how quiet its been,its been getting worse for a while now.

by **dawson99** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:29 pm

no, it kept crashing earlier, couldnt get in...but yes, its dead

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