The Real World - The Dog and Gorilla
by woof woof ! » Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:47 am
Almost 28000 posts in the Real World and over a quarter of a million views.
Wow !
Morning all
Wow !
Morning all
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woof woof ! - Forum Moderator
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f**kin Jalfrezi last night!! phew...suffering today, ive got meself a new ar5ehole burned out i think. Mad hot it was.by woof woof ! » Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:47 pm
Jalfrezi 
Madras or Vindaloo mate .
Last two nights I've had a home made beef Vindaloo (use Pataks Vindaloo sauce) . Had it for two nights cause the was so much of it, side dishes of veg samosas , raita (yoghurt stuff), Nan bread and baby leaf spinach in butter,
Had a dump this morning, not only did it scorch the toilet bowl, it was a strong as popeye and smelt like Ghandi's loin cloth..
Madras or Vindaloo mate .
Last two nights I've had a home made beef Vindaloo (use Pataks Vindaloo sauce) . Had it for two nights cause the was so much of it, side dishes of veg samosas , raita (yoghurt stuff), Nan bread and baby leaf spinach in butter,
Had a dump this morning, not only did it scorch the toilet bowl, it was a strong as popeye and smelt like Ghandi's loin cloth..
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woof woof ! - Forum Moderator
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by 66-1112520797 » Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:49 pm
Had a dump this morning, not only did it scorch the toilet bowl, it was a strong as popeye and smelt like Ghandi's loin cloth..
Last edited by 66-1112520797 on Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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by red37 » Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:56 pm
Jalfrezi' near us, they load up on the old chilli's and lemon juice. (stems from once when i asked em to make me something from scratch) id briefly mentioned the phrase 'bit hotter' and every time snce, our number/address comes up on the Call ID thing - they take the pi55 thinking we are into some kind of f**kin Chilli masochism!
Trust me - i love Madras (can tolerate a Vindaloo) wit the old ulcer and that - just. But here, if you go for something a bit on the spicy side - you tend to end up blowing yourself out a new hole before the nights out.
Ask for it milder and you may as well open a bag of twiglets.
Trust me - i love Madras (can tolerate a Vindaloo) wit the old ulcer and that - just. But here, if you go for something a bit on the spicy side - you tend to end up blowing yourself out a new hole before the nights out.
Ask for it milder and you may as well open a bag of twiglets.
TITANS of HOPE
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red37 - LFC Guru Member
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by woof woof ! » Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:15 pm
I love a spicy curry , was a time when I couldn't handle much more than a tikka massala but then met a woman (became the missus) who ate the little green and red chilli's raw as a side dish to almost everything. She trained me well but the first time she put some raw chillis in a bowl of soup (telling me they were a little bit hot) I almost f'uckin' punched her ! They actually blistered my lips. 
Tip, be careful receiving oral stimulation from women who eat chilli's
Tip, be careful receiving oral stimulation from women who eat chilli's
Last edited by woof woof ! on Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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woof woof ! - Forum Moderator
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by red37 » Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:45 pm
*cringe* ouch!!
We used to sprinkle a few of the old chilli seeds and wipe the guissets in the kecks of the commis chefs with the skins.....funny as f**k watching em hop about all over the kitchen trying to maintain a level of professionalism they had no hope in hell of aspiring to with a screaming hot ball bag between their legs! and an expression somewhat akin to being ravaged by a plague of hornets
Best bit was when i use to threaten em with a week on the potwash or coming in for the brekkie shift if they didn't knuckle down and stop skriking.
Them: "Chef..chef! - CHEF!!!!!!"
Me: "What?"
Them: "I need to go the bog....."
Me: "No chance, not in the middle of service yer don't!"
Them: "Im not after having a smoke...i need a s.hit"
Me: "GET THEM F**KIN STARTERS OUT NOW!!"
Them:"....*mumbling* c*nt...f**kin w*nker"
Happy days...
Almost as funny as the time when these young fresh faced college students came and started whingeing about the 90 odd litres of Fruit salad to be sliced up...or the sacks full of Parsley wanted chopping - always on the moan they was...thinking they could go straight on sauces or the charcoal after three days in!
One day after begrudgingly jetwashing out the service lift one unfortunate individual in particular wasn't best pleased with the upcoming chore of having to scrawp out three of the big Fryers, not a pleasant prospect at the best of times... well i was in a sprightly mood that day and the said repugnant miscreant was offered one of 'Chef's challenges' as a forfeit instead.
Me" Its the Fryers...or the Black pepper. which is it?"
Him: "Black pepper chef" as if he knew what it meant.
'Black pepper' was a moderately graded challenge and involved the clean shaven reprobate smearing his chops in Olive oil and burying his whole face in a container of Cracked, mignonette for a minute. Rolling it about to get good coverage. Then, not being allowed to leave the kitchen for ten minutes (till the burning sensation had well and truly kicked in) ...If by this time he wasn't displaying one or (preferrably) all of the following symptoms: Half blind, spluttering and sneezing his head off or completely red raw about the cheeks/eye areas - the forfeit had to be done a second time!
Usually the moaning stopped...or you never saw the c*nts again. One way or the other
We used to sprinkle a few of the old chilli seeds and wipe the guissets in the kecks of the commis chefs with the skins.....funny as f**k watching em hop about all over the kitchen trying to maintain a level of professionalism they had no hope in hell of aspiring to with a screaming hot ball bag between their legs! and an expression somewhat akin to being ravaged by a plague of hornets
Best bit was when i use to threaten em with a week on the potwash or coming in for the brekkie shift if they didn't knuckle down and stop skriking.
Them: "Chef..chef! - CHEF!!!!!!"
Me: "What?"
Them: "I need to go the bog....."
Me: "No chance, not in the middle of service yer don't!"
Them: "Im not after having a smoke...i need a s.hit"
Me: "GET THEM F**KIN STARTERS OUT NOW!!"
Them:"....*mumbling* c*nt...f**kin w*nker"
Happy days...
Almost as funny as the time when these young fresh faced college students came and started whingeing about the 90 odd litres of Fruit salad to be sliced up...or the sacks full of Parsley wanted chopping - always on the moan they was...thinking they could go straight on sauces or the charcoal after three days in!
One day after begrudgingly jetwashing out the service lift one unfortunate individual in particular wasn't best pleased with the upcoming chore of having to scrawp out three of the big Fryers, not a pleasant prospect at the best of times... well i was in a sprightly mood that day and the said repugnant miscreant was offered one of 'Chef's challenges' as a forfeit instead.
Me" Its the Fryers...or the Black pepper. which is it?"
Him: "Black pepper chef"
as if he knew what it meant.'Black pepper' was a moderately graded challenge and involved the clean shaven reprobate smearing his chops in Olive oil and burying his whole face in a container of Cracked, mignonette for a minute. Rolling it about to get good coverage. Then, not being allowed to leave the kitchen for ten minutes (till the burning sensation had well and truly kicked in) ...If by this time he wasn't displaying one or (preferrably) all of the following symptoms: Half blind, spluttering and sneezing his head off or completely red raw about the cheeks/eye areas - the forfeit had to be done a second time!
Usually the moaning stopped...or you never saw the c*nts again. One way or the other
TITANS of HOPE
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red37 - LFC Guru Member
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