Liverpool FC Forum

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 9:37 am

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Eye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."

The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job.

His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for? £124,237.64" replied the Geordie. The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?" "Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".

The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?"

"Nah, nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his ladyfriend and I said......... 'Well, since ya weekend's f**ked, you might as well gaan fishing."

by **66-1112520797** » Mon May 14, 2007 9:54 am

@ S@ints joke.

by **metalhead** » Mon May 14, 2007 4:39 pm

saint- im playing oblivion on my 360... i finally i understand how the game goes now

Right now I have to steal Volume 4 of some sort of book from someone! and i keep getting killed!

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 4:43 pm

metalhead wrote:saint- im playing oblivion on my 360... i finally i understand how the game goes now

Right now I have to steal Volume 4 of some sort of book from someone! and i keep getting killed!

Leave the fighting to your mate if you can't handle it. He will die but you can always get another mate

Try resting just before you go in the room, it restores his health as well as yours.

by **dawson99** » Mon May 14, 2007 4:44 pm

i keep gettnig arrested in my game, got to stop stealing!!! but i had to break into some dudes house anyways...

good game

by **metalhead** » Mon May 14, 2007 4:47 pm

s@int wrote:
metalhead wrote:saint- im playing oblivion on my 360... i finally i understand how the game goes now

Right now I have to steal Volume 4 of some sort of book from someone! and i keep getting killed!

Leave the fighting to your mate if you can't handle it. He will die but you can always get another mate Try resting just before you go in the room, it restores his health as well as yours.

The thing is, that i only have one partner, and that is the Bourus body guard dude who protected the king, if he dies then im all alone!

Dawson... i know its tempting to steal!

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 4:52 pm

metalhead wrote:
s@int wrote:
metalhead wrote:saint- im playing oblivion on my 360... i finally i understand how the game goes now

Right now I have to steal Volume 4 of some sort of book from someone! and i keep getting killed!

Leave the fighting to your mate if you can't handle it. He will die but you can always get another mate Try resting just before you go in the room, it restores his health as well as yours.

The thing is, that i only have one partner, and that is the Bourus body guard dude who protected the king, if he dies then im all alone!

Dawson... i know its tempting to steal!

He leaves you anyway even if you kill all the bad men Metalhead so I wouldn't worry too much about him. He's not important after you get the 4th book.

by **metalhead** » Mon May 14, 2007 4:55 pm

Ah Alright, he said so himself too.

but there is 3 who i have to kill to get the 4th book, thats where i got stuck! i cant take those 3.

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 5:01 pm

Let Bourus go in the room, you go upstairs, WITH SNEAK ON. When the bad man enters the room , 3 bad men come at you from the doorway opposite. Ignore them. Jump down help Bourus kill the first bad man and the rest are easy for 2 of you.

by **metalhead** » Mon May 14, 2007 5:08 pm

s@int wrote:Let Bourus go in the room, you go upstairs, WITH SNEAK ON. When the bad man enters the room , 3 bad men come at you from the doorway opposite. Ignore them. Jump down help Bourus kill the first bad man and the rest are easy for 2 of you.

AAH! Thats why they always catch me because i dont sneak i just go upstairs and wait.

so basically i jump quickly and kill the 1st one? or wait until i see baurus ready to attack?

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 5:17 pm

As soon as the badman enters the room downstairs ,jump down and kill him (remember to take sneak off) The rest are no problem once he's dead. When you have killed them all and Bourus leaves you (or is dead) dont go the way you came in, go the way the 3 badmen came in and you will find lots of stuff (including another copy of the 3rd and 4th book)

by **metalhead** » Mon May 14, 2007 5:20 pm

s@int wrote:As soon as the badman enters the room downstairs ,jump down and kill him (remember to take sneak off) The rest are no problem once he's dead. When you have killed them all and Bourus leaves you (or is dead) dont go the way you came in, go the way the 3 badmen came in and you will find lots of stuff (including another copy of the 3rd and 4th book)

I already have the copy of the 3rd book, a man gave it to me when he knew that the book was made by the men who killed the emperor.

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 5:23 pm

metalhead wrote:
s@int wrote:As soon as the badman enters the room downstairs ,jump down and kill him (remember to take sneak off) The rest are no problem once he's dead. When you have killed them all and Bourus leaves you (or is dead) dont go the way you came in, go the way the 3 badmen came in and you will find lots of stuff (including another copy of the 3rd and 4th book)

I already have the copy of the 3rd book, a man gave it to me when he knew that the book was made by the men who killed the emperor.

You just sell the extra books and get yourself some decent armour or potions so you dont get killed all the time

by **red37** » Mon May 14, 2007 7:21 pm

A few 'funnies' on a Tuesday never hurt anyone...

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and " aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

Even if its actually a Monday! :blush:

by **account deleted by request** » Mon May 14, 2007 8:31 pm

some crackers there Red

I am getting a bit worried about your sig though mate :sniffle

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