Liverpool FC Forum

by **Dundalk** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:29 pm

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four bill ion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

by **red37** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:34 pm

Why indeed.....

some good'uns there Dundalk. Im too knackered to think up some others.

by **Mikz** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:24 pm

classic- the one about keeping the house warm :bowdown

and the vacuum cleaner

by **daxy1** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:35 pm

WHY DOES A APPLE A DAY KEEP THE DOCTOR AWAY AND IF IT DOES WHAT DOES A PEAR DO AT NIGHT?

by **Kharhaz** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:48 pm

Why do women tan there whole body but leave there bra and knickers on so that when they are naked they just look weird???

by **dawson99** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:20 am

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?

by **chiggz_likes_owen** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:15 am

Dundalk wrote:Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

LOL. How true is that

by **tommycockles** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:18 am

dawson99 wrote:If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

by **tommycockles** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:20 am

Dundalk wrote:Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting dead?

This is true- when it gets really low you end up getting up off the sofa and walking closer to the TV and then press even harder!! (i don't obviously as this is jsut plain stupid

).

by **Reinas No.1 Fan** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:56 pm

daxy1 wrote:WHY DOES A APPLE A DAY KEEP THE DOCTOR AWAY AND IF IT DOES WHAT DOES A PEAR DO AT NIGHT?

Watch that new film "I want Candy" with Carmen Electra and find out what a pear does at night

http://www.iwantcandymovie.com/

by **stmichael** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:28 pm

A question I want answering.

Why is it called "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

by **dawson99** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:29 pm

stmichael wrote:A question I want answering.

Why is it called "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

on a similar topic, why are there self help groups?

by **Red @ Heart** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:36 pm

if mums in england shop at iceland, where do mums in iceland shop...............england?

by **Red @ Heart** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:36 pm

If money doesnt grow on trees why do banks have branches??

by **shanks72** » Sun Apr 01, 2007 11:59 pm

Dundalk wrote:Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Must admit I've done this before.....but not anymore I hasten to add... :cool:

And why is the sofa in "Friends" ALWAYS free for them..

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