Liverpool FC Forum

by **Woollyback** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 11:02 am

Bamaga man wrote:
Woollyback wrote:feckin hell it's 3 years ago today since i joined the forum. time i put some clean underpants on i reckon

Undies ? I thought you freeball and skid in your shorts

only as a treat ance in a while

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:46 pm

A Woman's Prayer

Before I Lay Me Down To Sleep
I Pray For A Man Who Is Not A Creep
One Who Is Handsome, Smart & Strong
One Who Loves To Listen Long
One Who Thinks Before He Speaks
One Who Will Call, Not Wait For Weeks.
I Pray He Is Gainfully Employed
When I Spend His Cash, He Wont Be Annoyed.
Pulls Out My Chair, & Opens My Door,
Massages My Back, & Begs To Do More.
OH! Send Me A Man Who Will Make Love To My Mind
Who Knows The Answer To 'How Big Is My Behind?'
I Pray That This Man Will Love Me To No End
And Always Be My Very Best Friend.

A Man's Prayer

I Pray For A Deaf-Mute Nymphomaniac With Huge Boobs
Who Owns A Liquor Store & A season ticket at Anfield

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:05 pm

How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in apile.Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the woo-woo'sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair.Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the
whole time.Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake Willy at her and make the'woo-woo'sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed

by **Rafa D** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:29 pm

by **shanks72** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:39 pm

s@int wrote:How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

It's amazing Saint how you know my bathroom routine!.. :wwww

by **account deleted by request** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:47 pm

binoculars are wonderful, but mine keep steaming up

by **shanks72** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:55 pm

s@int wrote:binoculars are wonderful, but mine keep steaming up

by **Scottbot** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:20 pm

Hey Stu lad, you kissed, made up and back on line again? Or can you read but not post? I'll assume the latter if you don't reply, just nod three times

by **metalhead** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:28 pm

s@int wrote:binoculars are wonderful, but mine keep steaming up

HAHAHA!

by **Years Of Decay** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:40 pm

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever, is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things

by **Bad Bob** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:49 pm

Today makes one year as a Newkitter for me! :buttrock

That's 2476 quality posts, for you bean-counters. Of course, I don't think I've found top form since Billy_5_Times left...the lad was my muse!

by **account deleted by request** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:28 pm

Bad Bob wrote:Today makes one year as a Newkitter for me!

That's 2476 quality posts, for you bean-counters. Of course, I don't think I've found top form since Billy_5_Times left...the lad was my muse!

I joined shortly after Bob, but I have posted over twice as many (quality) posts. Does this mean I am twice as good ?

by **dward** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:56 pm

No saint, because most of yours have been just pasting jokes in the real world. :no

by **Woollyback** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:54 pm

Years Of Decay wrote:Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever, is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things

yeah i think about beer all the time

by **Bad Bob** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:02 pm

s@int wrote:
Bad Bob wrote:Today makes one year as a Newkitter for me!

That's 2476 quality posts, for you bean-counters. Of course, I don't think I've found top form since Billy_5_Times left...the lad was my muse!

I joined shortly after Bob, but I have posted over twice as many (quality) posts. Does this mean I am twice as good ?

Out of curiosity, mate, how many of those early posts were defending yourself from being labelled a Manc?

I still remember the infamous Gerrard and Rafa rift thread--caused you no shortage of aggro early on. Glad you bounced back, my friend! :bowdown

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