Liverpool FC Forum

by **woof woof !** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:48 pm

I wandered into a school the other day and sat down for lunch . They kicked me out , said I was to old . :angry:

Since when are you told old to eat lunch ?

Merry Crimbo to the real world .

by **dawson99** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:55 pm

the genius of the woofster... except i believe that that story is true!!!!

happy xmas indeed, wheres my fricking wii!!! no shops have them... i think i'll get drunk

by **account deleted by request** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:23 pm

Merry Christmas to all who chat, moan, joke, eat, drink, sing or sleep in the Real World with special seasonal wishes to thecatsmeow without whom none of this would be possible.

by **account deleted by request** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:29 pm

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS - SEASON'S GREETINGS

On the first day of Christmas, my true love said to me,
"I'm glad we bought fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree."

On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard,
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.

On the third day we entertained the people from next door,
The turkey tasted just as good as it did the day before.

Day four relations came to stay, poor Gran is looking old,
We finished all the Christmas pud and ate our turkey cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the raindrops flurried,
But we were nice and warm inside, for we ate our turkey curried.

The sixth day, I must admit, the Christmas spirit died,
The children fought and bickered, we ate turkey rissole - fried.

The seventh day of Christmas, my true love she did wince,
When we sat down at the table and were offered turkey mince.

Day eight and nerves were getting frayed, the dog had run for shelter,
I served up turkey pancakes, with a glass of alka-seltzer.

Day nine, our cat left home, by lunch time Dad was blotto,
He said he'd have to have a drink to face the turkey risotto.

The tenth day the booze was gone - except for our home made brew
And if that wasn't bad enough, we suffered turkey stew.

The eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting,
The mince pies were hard as rocks and the turkey was revolting.

The twelfth day, my true love had a smile upon her lips,
The guests had gone, the turkey too - and we dined on fish and chips.

by **red37** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:59 am

a few occasions where the 'F word' has come in handy!

"What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where the f**k did all these Indians come from?" - General Custer

"But, it's so f**king simple!!" - Albert Einstein

"It does SO f**king look like her!" - Pablo Picasso

"How the f**k did you work that out?" - Pythagorus

"You want me to paint the whole f**king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

"I suppose a little f**king rain would be too much to ask?" - Joan of Arc

"Who the f**k is going to know?" - Bill Clinton

"Scattered f**king showers...my a$$." - Noah

"I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

by **red37** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:51 am

Dont forget folks...tomorrow is the Winter solstice: December 22 from about 00:22hrs. So remember to get your bins out and hurry up back in, cos its a bit nippy. Ok

by **babu** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:56 am

red37 wrote:"I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

by **dawson99** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:59 am

seasons greetings indeed. i think im turning more into scrooge as the days go on. cant wait for xmas day... because i will be hung over and asleep all day. new year is the one people.

If anyone sends me an e-card, they get blocked. If i get a :forward this to ten poeple to save some lives this cmas, they get blocked. If anyone asks me what i asked santa for, they get punched, or blocked. If anyone says "cheer up, its nearly xmas", they get a slap. Basically lets put things in perspective. ?Its cold, tis early, im hungover, got a work xmas do tonight. so tomorrow, i think it'll be cold and i'll be hungover again.

bah humbug i say, and to all a bah humbug!!!

by **112-1077774096** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:01 am

i dont know about getting out more dawson, i think you need to get laid.

you are the moodiest fecker on here at the moment

by **dawson99** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:04 am

i know!!! i do need some sweet loving, might even switch to landos side if things dont get better

i got my pxt going on, pre xmas tension... and chocolate dont help.

just being a moody fecker hehe

by **account deleted by request** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:05 am

You could aways spend a few hours going round primary schools telling all the kids there really isn't a Father Christmas. That should cheer you up mate.

by **dawson99** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:08 am

now that sounds like fun s@int, as long as i can kick some puppys and watch some old people slip up on the ice on the way, im happy as larry

larry:

by **Judge** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:12 am

good morning all

by **dawson99** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:13 am

good morning judge me old mucker, im telling people today that santa doesnt exist... just thought id let you know

by **Judge** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:14 am

dawson99 wrote:good morning judge me old mucker, im telling people today that santa doesnt exist... just thought id let you know

he did once, right up until i was 7

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