Liverpool FC Forum

drummerphil wrote:He must have the worst shot / goals ratio in international football........averages 10 shots a game and he is miles away from scoring.I bet by time we come home it will read 50/60 shots no goals.....fecking .

Lando_Griffin wrote:I think this calls for a balanced, sensible approach whereby Lampard gets a fair assessment of his footballing and character strengths, both at club level and Internationally.

However - I am not about to be sensible. I don't intend on being balanced OR fair. I am not about to focus on his strengths.

I am going to be honest:

Fat Frank b*stard Lampard is the biggest pile of whitened donkey sh*t I have ever seen in an England shirt. The corpulent fraudster would miss the ground if he were shooting at it.

This elephantine butterball contributes absolutely NOTHING positive to the England set-up, yet the rotund nancy-boy adversely affects everything from team morale to the amount of money the FA spend of food for the potbellied planetoid.
Several times so far in this World Cup campaign, the rest of the team have been fast asleep, only to be awoken by the frantic banging of pans in Fat Frank's fully-staffed, personal canteen.

No sooner had the players dropped back off to sleep, than they were again disturbed by the splashing caused as Frank "Shamu" Lampard re-entered his tank.

Steven Gerrard is reported a saying to the German press "Help us, please! Contact Greenpeace and get the idle f*ckers to take Fat Frank back to the wild where he belongs. Not only is he sh*t on the pitch, he's also causing malnourishment in the rest of the squad. Wayne Rooney is the only one who's not skin and bone!"

It is widely reported that Sven faces a transportation dilema in the build-up to England's Quarter-Final date with Portugal. According to an insider at the England training camp, Germany do not have any flat-bed trucks strong enough to carry the enormous weight of Lampy's tank. They got around it in the earlier rounds, as all of the stadia were close to rivers.

A spokesman for "Jerry-o-truckit" said "Auf Weidersein, Pet. Hest a fasht bashtard, yesh.".

.......        absolute class funny as f*ck