Liverpool FC Forum

by **The Red Baron** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:18 pm

Proof that the World is Nuts!

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is
punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but
is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He
may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Do they look different reversed?)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation.

That's it............... Gotcha worried?
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having
sex for the first time .

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

Let's just think about this one for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit
lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

Ah! Justice!)
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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the
act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this
law?)
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In Maryland, USA, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one
exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only
"in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the
premises."

(Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!)
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of ... ?)

(Did the government pay for this research?)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
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And, the best for last...

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Got to go now Ive got a job interview in Guam.

by **woof woof !** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:36 pm

The Red Baron wrote:There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having
sex for the first time .

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

Let's just think about this one for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Got to go now Ive got a job interview in Guam.

Goodbye and Goodluck , you might just need it .

Miss Breadfruit (Guam 2005)

by **112-1077774096** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:39 pm

it is legal to kill a welsh man with a bow and arrow within the city walls of chester after midnight

by **Ciggy** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:39 pm

by **The Red Baron** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:42 pm

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation.

Anyone seen Babu

by **dawson99** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:43 pm

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

by **stmichael** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:45 pm

The Red Baron wrote:Turtles can breathe through their butts.

so can jose mourinho

by **drummerphil** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:55 pm

here is a tít bit cant say where in the world its from though.....

by **jonnymac1979** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:05 pm

dawson99 wrote:Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

I remember a tropical fish store in Liverpool years ago. It weren't really specifically tropical fish, I think it was just called City Pets, so it sold all kinds. It was next to the old Cunarder boozer and is now a Lloyds bar in Queens Square. It sold piranha anyway and loads of multi-coloured fish, so they must have been tropical.

Don't remember no birds with their baps out though who worked there.

by **neil** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:12 pm

jonnymac1979 wrote:
dawson99 wrote:Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

I remember a tropical fish store in Liverpool years ago. It weren't really specifically tropical fish, I think it was just called City Pets, so it sold all kinds. It was next to the old Cunarder boozer and is now a Lloyds bar in Queens Square. It sold piranha anyway and loads of multi-coloured fish, so they must have been tropical.

Don't remember no birds with their baps out though who worked there.

Big bird cages in the window by the bubble bus stops?

by **jonnymac1979** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:14 pm

Very same one my friend.

by **The Red Baron** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:25 pm

There was a massive parrot in there it was about 50 some pr!ck robbed it.

by **Ciggy** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:43 pm

The Red Baron wrote:There was a massive parrot in there it was about 50 some pr!ck robbed it.

I remember that big old parrott it used to talk.
I got a gold fish a hamster and a pup from there when I was a kid but they all died.

by **dawson99** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:02 pm

fish eaten by hamster, hamster eaten by dog? dog got indegestion?

by **RUSHIE#9** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 11:34 pm

jonnymac1979 wrote:
dawson99 wrote:Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

I remember a tropical fish store in Liverpool years ago. It weren't really specifically tropical fish, I think it was just called City Pets, so it sold all kinds. It was next to the old Cunarder boozer and is now a Lloyds bar in Queens Square. It sold piranha anyway and loads of multi-coloured fish, so they must have been tropical.

Don't remember no birds with their baps out though who worked there.

Ironically if you stand outside of it now at closing you can see plenty of birds with their baps out. :laugh:

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