Liverpool FC Forum

andy_g wrote:i remember seeing some late night short film program on channel four about 6 or 7 years ago which was a really short one called "Cow, Ow!".  it was just a guy walking up to a cow in a field and delivering it a mighty right hook. the cow blinked and carried on chewing its grass, the guy hopped around the field screaming in pain and holding his f*cked right hand.

I wish I'd seen that. 

The Ace1983 wrote:I'll tell you who not to punch. Cows. There's a really frisky one near where I live and everytime I walk through it's field (which is a public right of way anyway) it chases me. And not in the playfull "have you got any food" kind of way either. I'm talking about the head down, thundering charge that gives even the most hardened cattle herder a sudden desire to stock up on brown trousers. So after I hurled myself over the stile, I turned round and there it was, as usual, leaning over the fence with a glazed, almost-innocent, yet slightly smug look and I just punched it on the nose. Now I hate animal cruelty. If I ever caught anyone hurting or killing an animal unecessarily, I'd probably kill them, or at least thrash them within an inch of their life. My Father always taught me to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, so that means kids and animals are safe when they're around me. But today, I just lost it and I'm still not proud, but I learnt my lesson. You see, cows are pretty tough b@stards and even though I'm no slouch in the strength department, this particular bovine creature failed to even flinch as I landed a pretty solid right on it's nose. In fact, I'm taking a while to write this because I have a broken nuckle and two broken fingers as well as a rather nasty cut where my ring went into my index digit. So, todays lesson is, that you shouldn't punch cows, because if I don't get you, the cow will.

Cows dont chase people mate ! They're big girls blouses  ace! It must have been a bull! Was u wearing red??
good story Pmsll!!

The Ace1983 wrote:Unless these "bulls" have udders and calves, I'd say these were cows and actually younger ones are anything but docile and shy. Try getting in between a cow (or any female mammal) and her young. And I no longer wear red when I know I'm gonna be going through that field. Besides, if any animal spends enough time with humans, they tend not to fear humans much at all. So trust me, Cows chase people, not all cows, not all people and not all of the time, but when you get in the way of one that does, you'll know about it.

Where do  u live ace
Little house on the prairie?  

BarryBelfast wrote:

The Ace1983 wrote:Unless these "bulls" have udders and calves, I'd say these were cows and actually younger ones are anything but docile and shy. Try getting in between a cow (or any female mammal) and her young. And I no longer wear red when I know I'm gonna be going through that field. Besides, if any animal spends enough time with humans, they tend not to fear humans much at all. So trust me, Cows chase people, not all cows, not all people and not all of the time, but when you get in the way of one that does, you'll know about it.

Where do  u live ace
Little house on the prairie?  

For a city boy like me, it is something like that... 

Leonmc0708 wrote:I'm a chutney ferret old boy.

Leonmc0708 wrote:

Lee J wrote:graham norton.

I'd love to pump Graham Norton in the ferking chip shop.

Never had you down as a chutney ferret old boy.

lmfao 

Roberts wrote:

Leonmc0708 wrote:Roberts.

try it and end up like the others who have embarassed themselves trying it

Leonmc0708 wrote:

Roberts wrote:

Leonmc0708 wrote:Roberts.

try it and end up like the others who have embarassed themselves trying it

Give me the time and place, and if possible make sure Dom is with you, that would be quite possibly the most satisfying moment of my life to knock you two hombres out.