Liverpool FC Forum

I log in 2-3 times a day but as has been said, self moderation appears to be working. Gone are the dark days of 2010-11 when the place was imploding and I was getting 20 complaints by PM a day. As mods now our work basically involves turfing the odd member/spammer out and moving the odd thread. Long may it continue.

You forgot banning Stu occasionally

dear woof...


how do i get the smell of sex off the budgie before the mrs gets home?

andy_g » Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:32 am wrote:dear woof...


how do i get the smell of sex off the budgie before the mrs gets home?

take the honourable way out......

andy_g » Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:32 am wrote:dear woof...


how do i get the smell of sex off the budgie before the mrs gets home?

Wipe yer ar'se with it and when the Missus comes in be the first to say

" That budgie smells like sh'it, lets get a new one"

I have inadvertently created a help thread here haven't I?

Woof, you are Deirdre ! 

Woof, I met a Cypriot girl yesterday and hopefully am going to do the deed with her tonight. Problem is though, she has a hunch on her back, do I ***** her on the floor to get her rocking, or do I try a mattress which is a lot softer but may not get the momentum as much to rock her? She's quite a big girl also, so physics is against me here - what would be your advice?

Woof,

I saw a shirt for $97 the other day, but didn’t have the cash, so I borrowed $50 from my Mum and $50 from my Dad, meaning I borrowed $100 in total.

I bought the shirt, and had $3 change.

I paid back $1 to my Dad and $1 to my Mum and kept the other $1 for myself.

Now I owe my Mum $49 and my Dad $49. Meaning in total I owe: 49+49 = 98 , adding the $1, I kept, equals: $99

Woof, what happened to the missing $1 ??????????????

HELP!

babu » Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:41 am wrote:Woof,

I saw a shirt for $97 the other day, but didn’t have the cash, so I borrowed $50 from my Mum and $50 from my Dad, meaning I borrowed $100 in total.

I bought the shirt, and had $3 change.

I paid back $1 to my Dad and $1 to my Mum and kept the other $1 for myself.

Now I owe my Mum $49 and my Dad $49. Meaning in total I owe: 49+49 = 98 , adding the $1, I kept, equals: $99

Woof, what happened to the missing $1 ??????????????

HELP!

False accounting mate.

$97 shirt+ $1 in your pocket =$98 which is what you still owe mum and dad, simples 

@KK, 

On the floor, preferably uncarpeted, in what we call the "Kneeling Wheelbarrow" stance and then learn to live with the shame.   

woof woof ! » Wed Dec 11, 2013 9:22 am wrote:

babu » Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:41 am wrote:Woof,

I saw a shirt for $97 the other day, but didn’t have the cash, so I borrowed $50 from my Mum and $50 from my Dad, meaning I borrowed $100 in total.

I bought the shirt, and had $3 change.

I paid back $1 to my Dad and $1 to my Mum and kept the other $1 for myself.

Now I owe my Mum $49 and my Dad $49. Meaning in total I owe: 49+49 = 98 , adding the $1, I kept, equals: $99

Woof, what happened to the missing $1 ??????????????

HELP!

False accounting mate.

$97 shirt+ $1 in your pocket =$98 which is what you still owe mum and dad, simples 

you're like the oracle of newkit. 

woof woof ! » Wed Dec 11, 2013 10:22 am wrote:

babu » Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:41 am wrote:Woof,

I saw a shirt for $97 the other day, but didn’t have the cash, so I borrowed $50 from my Mum and $50 from my Dad, meaning I borrowed $100 in total.

I bought the shirt, and had $3 change.

I paid back $1 to my Dad and $1 to my Mum and kept the other $1 for myself.

Now I owe my Mum $49 and my Dad $49. Meaning in total I owe: 49+49 = 98 , adding the $1, I kept, equals: $99

Woof, what happened to the missing $1 ??????????????

HELP!

False accounting mate.

$97 shirt+ $1 in your pocket =$98 which is what you still owe mum and dad, simples 

That's actually a pretty good answer woof.

How about this:

Me and 2 of my mates dined in a restaurant the other night and our meals were worth 9$ each. Each one of us gave 10$ to the waiter (which totals 30$) and waited for him to return with 3$ change.

Before the waiter came back to us, his manager told him to charge us 25$ (2$ less than what we had to pay) because we are regulars there and to give us 5$ back instead of 3$.

The waiter didn't know how to divide 5$ to three people so he just kept 2$ for himself and gave us 3$ back.

So, considering the 3$ change we were given back, the 3 of us paid 9$ each, the waiter took 2$ which is 9$ + 9$ + 9$ + 2$ = 29$. What happened to the missing 1$?

Dear Woof...

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Kenny Kan » Wed Dec 11, 2013 1:30 am wrote:Woof, I met a Cypriot girl yesterday and hopefully am going to do the deed with her tonight. Problem is though, she has a hunch on her back, do I ***** her on the floor to get her rocking, or do I try a mattress which is a lot softer but may not get the momentum as much to rock her? She's quite a big girl also, so physics is against me here - what would be your advice?

 

Woof someone suggested to my friend you could give yourself head if you sat in a wheelie bin ,problem is he's stuck fast
and the bins get collected tomorrow.

a true friend would give him head himself before he goes off to get compacted