Liverpool FC Forum

by **adamant** » Tue Jun 01, 2010 9:30 pm

even though you fool your soul
your conscience will be mine

by **woof woof !** » Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:53 am

Sorry punk Snake don't do autographs

by **Ciggy** » Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:30 am

funny as fuck Adamant

by **adamant** » Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:21 am

she'd heard the voices from Outer Space
she'd heard the voices from Outer Space
she'd heard the voices from Outer Space
saying,'Never trust a man with egg on his
face'

la la

by **dawson99** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:35 am

the threads died again

by **woof woof !** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:40 am

Nah,

It's just resting.

by **dawson99** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:42 am

just delete 500 pages in the middle i say

by **andy_g** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 4:32 pm

i can confirm that the mods are bastárds and have it in for us. i just spent 10 minutes writing a witty, sarcastic and poignant reply to the saint and mick thread and by the time i hit the submit post button the fúckers have locked it!

:angry:

by **woof woof !** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 4:34 pm

andy_g wrote:i can confirm that the mods are bastárds and have it in for us. i just spent 10 minutes writing a witty, sarcastic and poignant reply to the saint and mick thread and by the time i hit the submit post button the fúckers have locked it!

, we are b'stards mate but we enjoy a good laugh, why not post your "witty, sarcastic and poignant reply" here

by **andy_g** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:07 pm

i would but i forgot it

by **zarababe** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:20 pm

Don't forget to count the Calories boys...

by **fivecups** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:53 pm

Push.....

by **woof woof !** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 9:13 pm

Deep Purple with a speech impediment ?

by **andy_g** » Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:45 pm

so there i am, wedged into a ryanair plane seat fit only for a person of 4 feet tall or less, and hour of the journey to go and i say to my girlfriend 'you know what, i think i fancy a coffee'. the trolley service has just gone past so i call them back and ask for a coffee. 'no problem' they say, so i put my book in my lap, lower my tray table and 20 seconds later there is a cup of coffee in front of me. its a big cup of coffee and its hot, very very very very hot. and i realise that i have made a fatal error... my hands are trapped below the tray table and on top of my book. there is very little space to move...

so i gingerly begin to move one hand out from its trap, and its going quite well when suddenly - whhuummp - turbulence!! ... and all i know is pain. blinding, scorching, growing, spreading pain. the unthinkable has happened. i'm wedged into a tiny seat, i have no room to move, i am strapped in, and a third of a liter of almost boiling coffee has just landed in my lap.

in one fast movement, and while yelping like a stuck pig, i am out of the seat - book, empty cup, sugar sachets and tray table flying everywhere. i'm a blur as i somehow pass the bewildered stewardesses and my luck is in - there is a free toilet cubicle. i'm in and my trousers and pants are down even faster than as if i'd gone in there with mila jovovic and i'm running the tap to throw cold water over my suffering nethers.

the water is nearly as hot as the coffee.

i'm whimpering now and there is a polite tap on the door. 'sir, are you ok...?'. 'no, i'm fúcking not' i moan as i edge to door open a crack. a steward is there holding a tea tree oil compress and a bandage. 'would you like me to put this on for you sir? where did you burn yourself?'. his face goes ashen as i explain to him where the problem is and i catch his eyes drop for a split second as he takes in my poor crown jewels which are rapidly resembling a chorizo on a bed of meatballs. 'i'll get you some ice' he generously proffers.

the ice is like the kiss of an angel. for the first time in what seems like an eternity i can breathe, and the agony begins to lift. ten minutes later i'm back in my seat, my underpants full of now cold coffee, half a roll of toilet paper, a tea tree compress and a burning, throbbing redness that i just now isn't in any hurry to get better.

my little son wakes up in the seat next to me, having somehow slept through the drama. 'hi papi!' he shouts and jumps into my lap.

'FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!! FÚCK!!!!'

by **dawson99** » Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:50 pm

Love it dude

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