Liverpool FC Forum

by **Woollyback** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:08 pm

anyway where the hell's taff?

by **dawson99** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:12 pm

taff can be found wearing this tshirt, may explain things?

by **woof woof !** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:44 pm

you sure thats not Judge's t shirt ?

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:08 pm

A Guy Was Very Keen To Save His Failing Marriage Comes Home From The Pub And Sneaks Under The Duvet ,Got Frisky, And Gave An Oral Sex Act.
After A While She Gave Out A Long Moan And Climaxes.
Feeling Pleased With Himself He Gets Up And Goes To The Bathroom Where He Is Shocked To See His Wife Shaving Her Legs.
"what The F**k Are You Doing Here" He Shouts
"shooosh" Says His Wife
"you'll Wake Your Mother"

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:16 pm

Chatroom cyber sex

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty ***** of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't **** with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:21 pm

Another cr@ppy joke but it made me laugh :-

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the
house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to
break something, but the boy continues.

"Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off." You're going to break something.
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the
store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves
it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea
run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her
doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures
her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his
knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his
pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon
explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the
first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"

by **shanks72** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 11:12 pm

s@int wrote:A Guy Was Very Keen To Save His Failing Marriage Comes Home From The Pub And Sneaks Under The Duvet ,Got Frisky, And Gave An Oral Sex Act.
After A While She Gave Out A Long Moan And Climaxes.
Feeling Pleased With Himself He Gets Up And Goes To The Bathroom Where He Is Shocked To See His Wife Shaving Her Legs.
"what The F**k Are You Doing Here" He Shouts
"shooosh" Says His Wife
"you'll Wake my Mother"

Saint you make me curl up...

by **account deleted by request** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:15 am

shanks72 wrote:
s@int wrote:A Guy Was Very Keen To Save His Failing Marriage Comes Home From The Pub And Sneaks Under The Duvet ,Got Frisky, And Gave An Oral Sex Act.
After A While She Gave Out A Long Moan And Climaxes.
Feeling Pleased With Himself He Gets Up And Goes To The Bathroom Where He Is Shocked To See His Wife Shaving Her Legs.
"what The F**k Are You Doing Here" He Shouts
"shooosh" Says His Wife
"you'll Wake my Mother"

Saint you make me curl up...

The original punchline was "Shhhh or you will wake YOUR mother", but I thought that was a bit too much for family viewing

by **Years Of Decay** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:16 am

by **Lando_Griffin** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:26 am

s@int wrote:
shanks72 wrote:
s@int wrote:A Guy Was Very Keen To Save His Failing Marriage Comes Home From The Pub And Sneaks Under The Duvet ,Got Frisky, And Gave An Oral Sex Act.
After A While She Gave Out A Long Moan And Climaxes.
Feeling Pleased With Himself He Gets Up And Goes To The Bathroom Where He Is Shocked To See His Wife Shaving Her Legs.
"what The F**k Are You Doing Here" He Shouts
"shooosh" Says His Wife
"you'll Wake my Mother"

Saint you make me curl up...

The original punchline was "Shhhh or you will wake YOUR mother", but I thought that was a bit too much for family viewing

That's f*cking sick. :no

by **account deleted by request** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:22 am

The Good Lord is up in Heaven, moaning about the pressures and stresses of omnipotence and being Number One.

He decides it’s time to go on holiday.

He summons all his superbeing mates and they pop round with a few suggestions.

‘What about Mars?’ says one.

‘Nah,’ replies God. ‘I went there 15,000 years ago, and it was awful – no atmosphere and too dusty.’

‘Pluto?’ suggests another.

‘No way,’ God pipes up. ‘I went there 10,000 years ago. Freezing. Awful place.’

‘Well,’ says another of God’s protegés. ‘How about Mercury?’

God turns the suggestion down. ‘Been there. Nearly burnt my nuts off – never again.’

‘Okay,’ says another of God’s favourite cronies. ‘How about Earth?’

‘Woah!’ God exclaims. ‘Not a chance!

I went there about 2,000 years ago, knocked up some bird and they’re still bloody talking about it!’

by **jkop** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:22 am

s@int wrote:Another cr@ppy joke but it made me laugh :-

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the
house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to
break something, but the boy continues.

"Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off." You're going to break something.
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the
store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves
it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea
run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her
doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures
her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his
knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his
pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon
explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the
first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"

That's one of the funnier one's S@int. :laugh:

by **Rafa D** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:26 am

Mein arse tut veh!

Thats jokes sick S@int - I like it

by **Rafa D** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:23 am

I don't like it out there in the forum so I have come to hide in the Real World. Its crawling with Big Bad Ass Mods out there. There loads of them and they are calling themselves the BBAM's.

Well I think they are, or peewees got a stutter.

Watch out lads.

by **Sabre** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:27 am

I don't like it out there in the forum so I have come to hide in the Real World. Its crawling with Big Bad Mods out there. There loads of them and they are calling themselves the BBAM's.

Well I think they are, or peewees got a stutter.

Watch out lads.

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