Latest joke mancs are sayin about us, and people wonder why we hate them 
It is funny though sounds a bit like Mosside to me An earthquake measuring 5.7 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool last Wednesday morning. The epicentre was Kirby. Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying “well out of order”, “mental” and “that did my head in”. The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic interest, consisting of some burnt out cars and the closed down dog food factory were destroyed. Many locals were woken before their Giro’s arrived.
One resident, Tplayy Bernice Fitzsimmons (Frisky fitzy to her friends), a 15 year old mother of 4 said, “It woz dead scary like, little Chardonnay-Britney came leggin into me bedroom crying and me hands woz shakin that much that I could ardly skin-up watchin Trisha”.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous ‘Elizabeth Duke’ sovereigns, benefit books, ornaments from Poundstretcher and thousands of Argos catalogues. However, they have not managed to save any furniture from Crazy George’s.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are Lacoste tracksuits (his and hers), white socks, Burberry caps, woolly benny hats and Reebok trainers. Adidas hooded jackets would be most welcome. Food parcels are also needed. They should include McCains Micro-Chips, Aldi beans, Monster Munch and Iceland or Netto pizzas. Alcohol is also in short supply, especially White Lightning Cider and Tennants Super Strength.
Cash donations are also needed. Just 22p buys a Bic Biro for signing on with. £2.50 buys a jumbo sausage dinner, £3.00 buys a dodgy CD, £20.00 buys a fake Tax Disc (or 10 gallons of red diesel to burn the vehicle out) and £26.00 buys 200 Regal from Thommo who has just got back from Kavos.
