Smeg wrote:On xmas day is it acceptable to get completely bevvied, in your own home with several relatives there, all older than you?
Good god yes, and if they try to take the pi$$ out of you because you are the youngest, either show them the size of your c*ck or drink them under the f*cking table. Either or, usually works.
Careful Smeg,drink to much youll probably try to mount your Nan.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.Stuff you pay good money for later in llife
This old grandad takes his little grandson out for the day and at lunch time they go into a pub. When grandad comes back to the table with his grandsons lemonade, he's got a brandy for himself. The kid asks what it is and his grandad says "It's Brandy" "Can I have some?" asks the child "You're not old enough" replies grandad "How do you know?" asks the child "can your di.ck touch your @rsehole?" asks the grandad in reply "No" says the kid "well then you're not old enough" says the grandad and that's the end of that. As they come out of the pub, grandad sparks up his pipe as the child looks on in awe. "can I have some of that?" asks the child again "You're not old enough" says grandad as he puffs away "How do you know?" says the child "can your di.ck touch your @rsehole?" says grandad "No..." replies the child knowing what this means. and sure enough, grandad offers: "then you're not old enough". They walk off in the direction of the sweet shop and that, again, is the end of that. When they get home, the child sits in the living room and starts tucking into his sweets. Grandad sees the chocolatey delights and goes up to the little boy and asks "Can I have one of those?" "No" replies the child "You're too old!" "Too old! How do you know?" exclaims the grandad "Can your di.ck touch your @rsehole?" asks the youngster "Yes it can." answers grandad smugly. At this point the child looks up smiling and says: "Well go yourself then!"
I heard that on Christmas day afternoon when I was about 12 and I thought it was the funniest thing in the world, but I was drunk off a couple of shandys at the time. I'd never heard my uncle swear before and from then on he was my favorite uncle. Memories rule.