Liverpool FC Forum

[jonnymac1979]

Gary, whenever I order food in a restaurant, a chip barm, a toasted sandwich....ANYTHING, I have to in no uncertain terms stress to the waiter/waitress that I will not tolerate butter or marg even being near where my food is being prepared.

You see, if I get a sarnie in the morning in the cafe, I know that previously, they will have used a knife to slice through someone elses sandwich which will be covered in butter, so there will be butter on that knife.  I make them use a different knife to slice my buttie, but because I go there every day though, they know about my weirdness when it comes to butter so they're sympathetic, but I get looked at like I'm a freak in other places when I'm explaining this to them that I hate butter. 

They're like "What, you just have dry toast?" or "What?  No butter?  NO BUTTER?  ARE YOU MAD?"  it infuriates me to be honest, that I'm questioned because I hate the yellow shit, but to me, it's perfectly normal to want the vomit inducing spread as far as possible away from me. 

Believe me, you cannot comprehend how much I hate this stuff.  Have you ever read 1984, particularly the chapter towards the end where they make the main character Winston go to Room 101?  If I was to be damned forever in a hell known as Room 101, put me in an empty room which was full of butter.  I would have to go a long way to imagine anything worse than that fate.

[Lando_Griffin]

If I was to be damned forever in a hell known as Room 101, put me in an empty room which was full of butter.  I would have to go a long way to imagine anything worse than that fate.

I'm sure you now realise that this just does not make sense!!!?!!! 

I am a master at the art of toast prep. I could create a course on it, and every single human being that has sampled my toast will agree. The basic jist goes thus;

Fresh white bread (Hovis is good), lightly toasted until just before the colour changes. This will leave the toast firm, but not hard and flakey. This is your foundation.

Next, you must add a small amount of Birtolli, (or similar spread) evenly. Avoid puddles.

Finally, add a blob of tomato sauce about 1.5cm2 (Asda's is the best). Spread it evenly.

Consume the crusts first, then roll up like a bifta, and eat one end to the other.

You have now sampled the greatest delicacy in breaded product history. 

[jonnymac1979]

I know it doesn't make sense but you get my drift.

I meant like a whole room full of butter to be suffocated in, and yes, I have just baulked again and nearly threw my guts up at my desk in work.  That would have been a laugh wouldn't it?

[jonnymac1979]

And do you know what also does my head in, people who say that butter and margarine aren't the same!!!!!!!  THAT'S JUST B*ll*c*ks!!!!

[Garymac]

Agree butter and Marg is the same thing, its like crisp n dry, thats just melted lard put in a bottle, what would you rather have Jonny, Butter on toast or Lard on toast!!!

[The Ace1983]

I just had French Toast with banana, icing sugar and Maple Syrup. I'm gonna have to run ten miles to get the weight off again, but what a meal!   If you don't know what French toast is by the way (I had to go to America to find out) it's basically Eggy bread but I do it with a bit of flour in the mix, a touch of milk and some ground Cinnamon and some shavings of Nutmeg. It's delisioso!