Signing on a free - 37 year ol american striker
Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 3:11 amThis is a transfer rumor that I've just made up.
Liverpool FC are about to sign John Connelly, a 37 year old 5'10" 210lb fatty. A "speedster" was his wife's description of him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant a description of him outside of the bedroom. The best description I can think of is , he's really fast in the bedroom and a bit slow once the doors open"
Despite the odds against him Connelly likes his chances of making it into Liverpool's first team.
"I've got a great first touch and I can put a ball into the window of my daughters' playhouse from 30 yards out,My right nut might be a bit larger than my left, but I find it helps my balance."
When asked about his weight Connelly said, " look, yeah I may seem a bit large on the "tele" that's what you redcoats call it right?, well anyway,the TV adds at least 85 pounds so don't fret."
Since he is an unknown player we decided to ask where he had played football before. "Well I played as a 7 year old and that was a tough league, the city I grew up in only had money to have one league, ages 7-13 and so I didn't get a single minute on the field. But over the past year or so I've gotten the chance to coach and I've found that I have a lethal right foot (as far as 7 year old keepers are concerned. I can pass like Xabi Alonso on Heroine, and as far as in the air, well I used to be able to dunk (yes on a 10 foot net)."
"I think I'll be a great signing for Liverpool. Hey, does being a LFC player get me a free tour of the Cavern Club? That's what it said on the brochure."
Liverpool FC are about to sign John Connelly, a 37 year old 5'10" 210lb fatty. A "speedster" was his wife's description of him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant a description of him outside of the bedroom. The best description I can think of is , he's really fast in the bedroom and a bit slow once the doors open"
Despite the odds against him Connelly likes his chances of making it into Liverpool's first team.
"I've got a great first touch and I can put a ball into the window of my daughters' playhouse from 30 yards out,My right nut might be a bit larger than my left, but I find it helps my balance."
When asked about his weight Connelly said, " look, yeah I may seem a bit large on the "tele" that's what you redcoats call it right?, well anyway,the TV adds at least 85 pounds so don't fret."
Since he is an unknown player we decided to ask where he had played football before. "Well I played as a 7 year old and that was a tough league, the city I grew up in only had money to have one league, ages 7-13 and so I didn't get a single minute on the field. But over the past year or so I've gotten the chance to coach and I've found that I have a lethal right foot (as far as 7 year old keepers are concerned. I can pass like Xabi Alonso on Heroine, and as far as in the air, well I used to be able to dunk (yes on a 10 foot net)."
"I think I'll be a great signing for Liverpool. Hey, does being a LFC player get me a free tour of the Cavern Club? That's what it said on the brochure."
