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Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:29 amby The Ace1983
This coming from someone who puts "Due South" on his Sig! 
Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:56 amby dawson99
genius from clerks film:
Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks: "Empire".
Randal Graves: Blasphemy!
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
and:
Blue Collar Man: Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but what are you talking about?
Randal Graves: The ending of "Return of the Jedi".
Dante Hicks: My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels.
Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:52 pmby The Ace1983
Legendary film. I also love the bit in Mallrats where they're discussing Superman and Lois lane having a baby:
TS: But they're engaged!
Brody: Doesn't matter. It can't happen
TS: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brody: It's impossible. Lois Lane could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her philopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarentee he blows a load like a shot gun right through her back. And what about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?
TS: Sure. Why Not?
Brody: He's an alien for Christ's sake. His kryptonian biological make-up is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonderwoman has a uterus strong enough to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. But that would kill him.
Kevin Smith is a funkin' legend. Best script writer ever.
Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:17 pmby dawson99
chasing amy
Hooper: Check this 
. You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!
Banky Edwards: What's a "Nubian"?
Hooper: Shut the up!
Hooper: And Jedi's the most insulting installment. Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky Edwards: Well, isn't that true?
Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:43 pmby The Ace1983
Dogma (loki's opening speach)
Nun: So you don't believe in God becuase of Alice In Wonderland?
Loki: No, through the looking glass. That poem. The Walrus and the Carpenter, that's an indictment of organised religion. The Walrus with his girth and good nature obviously represents Buddha, or with his tusks the Hindu Elephant-God, Lord Ganesha. Now that takes care of your eastern religions. Now the Carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ who was raised a carpenter's son, represents the western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They doop all these oysters into following them and then preceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en mass. Now I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says tat following these faiths based on mythalogical figures insures the destruction of one's inner being. Organised religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says: "Do it... Do it and I'll f.uck1n spank you!"
Nun: The way you put it... I never thought about it like that before... what have I been doing with my life?"
Loki: I know. Listen, my advice to you, is to take that money you've been collecting for your parish and you go get yourself a nice dress. y'know. Fix yourself up. Find some man. Find some woman. Find anyone who you can connect with even for a moment. Because that's all that life is sister, a series of moments. Why don't you seize yours.
Funny and inciteful. That's what Kevin Smith is all about. Brilliant.
Posted:
Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:55 pmby zarababe
Posted:
Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:30 amby Lando_Griffin
