Liverpool FC Forum

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:01 pm**

Ive heard plenty of funny things in my life, weather it be in reality or on tv or films, but heres a couple of my favorites

1) I was in a pub havin a pint with a few of me mates when one of the funniest fellas ive met, who ill call JR came in and sat with us,about 15 minutes later a smack head came in the boozer and said "does anyone wanna buy any suncream or bacon" and quick as a flash JR said "whats the suncream for, incase ye burn the bacon!!" i swear i nearly soiled me self!

2) Is a classic houllier moment when he described Robbie F quite blatintly pretending to Snort a line in front of the blue $hites fans as a pi$$ take out of rigobert song becos he likes to eat grass!!!!

and numero 3 is Shola ameobi getting interviewed by a reporter
REPORTER "so do the lads have a nickname for you yet shola"
AMEOBI "No"
REPORTER "So what does Sir Bobby call you??"
AMEOBI "Carl Cort!!!"

Quality, if anyone has any others please add them cos im bored $hitless and need a good laugh!!!

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:05 pm**

a becks classic

"We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion!"

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:20 pm**

On holiday in spain me mate Dave went to see a doctor about a hernia problem .She was a stunner and with her white coat partly unbuttoned a real turn on.
She told me mate to remove his pants and then stuck her hand down his Calvins and was having a good feel around .
Needles to say Dave's undies soon looked more like a teepee. The doctor pulled her hand out and told him to get dressed .
As we left the surgery Dave (still with a woody) asked her "Do I need to see you again ? " she said "Only if you need something " to which Dave replied "In that case can I come back this afternoon ? "

I p*ssed myself .

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:38 pm**

woof woof ! wrote:On holiday in spain me mate Dave went to see a doctor about a hernia problem .She was a stunner and with her white coat partly unbuttoned a real turn on.
She told me mate to remove his pants and then stuck her hand down his Calvins and was having a good feel around .
Needles to say Dave's undies soon looked more like a teepee. The doctor pulled her hand out and told him to get dressed .
As we left the surgery Dave (still with a woody) asked her "Do I need to see you again ? " she said "Only if you need something " to which Dave replied "In that case can I come back this afternoon ? "
I p*ssed myself .

Thats a cracker that, i wish i was that lucky!!! Kepp em comin lads.....and gals!!!!

Another classic "Once a blue,always a blue!!!!" Wayne Rooney, That will always crack me up!!!

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:46 pm**

actually the funniest thing i have ever heard anyone say is one of these three things.

"will we beat blackpool?"

"what's the truth about kevin beattie?"

"can cisse and cisse play together?"

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 3:05 pm**

I was waiting for them to pop up!!!

Pure classics!!!!

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:43 pm**

That quote about Rigobert Song was surreal.

Everything that comes out of Kevin Keegan's mouth is priceless.

Posted: **Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:46 pm**

"The French don't have a word for Entrepreneur.".. George Dubya Bush

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 4:35 am**

A bloke walks into a public toilet where he finds two cubicles. One is occupied and one is empty. He enters the empty one, closes the door, drops his pant and sits down. Then a voice from the next cubicle and says, “Morning mate, how are you?” Thinking this a bit strange, but not wanting to be rude, the guy replies “I’m fine thanks!” After a short pause, the voice says, “So, what are you up to mate?” Again unsure he answers reluctantly, “Er I’m just having a quick ****** and yourself?” He then hears the voice for the third time, “Look sorry mate, I’ll have to call you back, I’ve got some idiot in the next trap that keeps answering all my questions

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:09 am**

joke: little jill comes home and tells her mum "ive just seen jimmys will y, and it was like a nut"!
mum replies " what, small you mean".
"no" little jill replies. "SALTY"

boom boom

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:26 am**

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:35 am**

Ricky Tomlinson on Elton John

"with all his money why did he have to drop anchor in poop bay?"

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:44 am**

the royle family one of your faves eh

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:47 am**

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2004 8:51 am**

Never play 'guess who' on the nudist beach!

Liverpool FC Forum

Whats the funniest thing youve.... - ...ever heard anyone say?

Whats the funniest thing youve.... - ...ever heard anyone say?