Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:15 pmWhat’s grey, sits at the end of your bed and takes the p#ss? A kidney dialysis machine.
Liverpool FC Forum
Liverpool Football Club Discussion
https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/
Joke time...................
https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/general-chat-forum/joke-time-t3506-45.html
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:15 pmPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:18 pmManchester United Football Club are on the look out for some new talent and send a scout to Bosnia where they find a fantastic new player and bring him back with them. In his first game, he scores a hat-trick and the fans love him. When he gets home he decides to phone his mum and give her the good news, but when she answers she immediately starts crying. When he asks what the matter is, she replies, ‘Well, this morning your sister was raped by a street gang, then your little brother was savaged by wild dogs while playing football in the street. After that your dad was shot by a sniper and I was mugged and beaten up while shopping.’ The guy is gobsmacked. ‘Mum, what can I say? I’m so sorry.’ ‘Sorry?!’ she shouts. ‘It’s your fault we moved to Manchester!’
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:29 amA guy walks into a bar and bets the barman 20 pounds that he can fart the national anthem.
When the bartende agrees, the guy jumps up on the bar, squats, drops his pants and sh#ts all over the bar.
The barman goes nuts and yells "what the hell are you doing!?"
The farter explains "Hey, even Pavarotti has to clear his throat before a performance!!!!!!"
When the bartende agrees, the guy jumps up on the bar, squats, drops his pants and sh#ts all over the bar.
The barman goes nuts and yells "what the hell are you doing!?"
The farter explains "Hey, even Pavarotti has to clear his throat before a performance!!!!!!"
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 1:00 pmwhat do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea!
still no idea!
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 4:43 pm2 Yuppies sitting in a wine bar, one says to the other "Why did you buy that hands-free kit for your mobile, you w#nk#r?"
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:06 pmLost on me that wooly
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:08 pmLeon, if you were a yuppy and suddenly your hands were free as a result of a new gadget for your phone, what would you do? CORRECT! Tug yourself silly! 
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:16 pmSpoken like a true Yuppy Wool
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:50 pm
Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 12:37 pmhow many everton fans does it take to change a light bulb?
as many as you want, they still won't see the light!
as many as you want, they still won't see the light!
Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 2:02 pmQ Why does Heskey get picked for England ?
A Ummmmmmmm ?? (answers on a postcard please):D
A Ummmmmmmm ?? (answers on a postcard please):D
Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 2:03 pmQ. Why do Gary and Phil Neville get picked for England?
A. Ummmmmmmm ?? (answers on a postcard please)
A. Ummmmmmmm ?? (answers on a postcard please)
Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 2:06 pmQ why does kieron dyer get picked for england?
A because no other country would have him.
A because no other country would have him.
Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 2:09 pmwhy fergie would want Stevie despite knowing it's impossible?
Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 3:12 pmQ: What do you call a fanny on top of a fanny on top of a fanny on top of a fanny on top of a fanny?
A: A block of flaps
A: A block of flaps