Liverpool FC Forum

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 2:12 pm**

2 parrots sat on a perch. One says "can you smell fish?"

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 2:37 pm**

there were three tampons walking down the road and a woman on the other side said "morning". which one of the three replied?

none of them. they're all stuck up c#nts!

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 2:45 pm**

Q Do women have orgasms?

A Who cares?

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:07 pm**

paddy and murphy on an iceberg in the middle of the atlantic ocean.

all of a sudden the iceberg begins to melt rapidly.

paddy screams out:

"look murphy we're saved. here comes the titanic"!

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:09 pm**

Owen: Sorry about taht penalty, i coulda kicked myself
Murphy: Thats ok, u only woulda missed

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:11 pm**

inventors have recently come up with an idea for the new emile heskey jigsaw.

well, shouldn't be too hard. he always goes to pieces in the box! :laugh:

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:21 pm**

a funny quote..from booby robson:
"We did'nt underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought."
and one more, frmo the foot in mouth man himself,big ron:
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."

Posted: **Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:28 pm**

or good old bobby saying he was happy with a point after a uefa cup game earlier this season.

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:27 pm**

what do you call a chinese child molestor?

f#ck em young!

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 7:43 pm**

Q-what do you do if a pitbull shags your leg?
A-FAKE AN ORGASM

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 7:45 pm**

Q...What did Posh say to Beck's when she found out she was pregnant?
A...Are you sure it's mine David....? :laugh:

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 7:47 pm**

David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes to thebedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and panting.Becks asks her suspiciously "What are you doing?"Posh stutters a reply "I'm... er, er... I'm having a heart attack""Oh no," he cries in despair. "I'll call an ambulance".He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and begins dialling 999.However, he is stopped in his tracks by a tearful Brooklyn."What's the matter, son?" asks Becks."Uncle Giggsy is in the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy," snifflesBrooklyn.Infuriated by this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door.Sure enough, the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers."You w*nker, Giggsy," screams Becks. "My wife is right over there having abloody heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring Brooklyn."

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:05 pm**

1
What do Jamie Carragher and Christopher Reeves have in common?

They both have two dead legs.

2
What do Teddy Sheringham and Posh Spice have in common?

They both are f##king lousy footballers.

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:13 pm**

Q: WHATS PINK AND FLUFFY?
A: PINK FLUFFundefined

Posted: **Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:13 pm**

A boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over. ‘If you get in the car,’ the driver says, ‘I’ll give you £10 and a packet of sweets.’ The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A little further up the road the man again pulls over. ‘Okay,’ he says. ‘How about £20 and two packets of sweets?’ The boy tells the man to p#ss off and carries on walking. Still further up the road the man again pulls to the curb. ‘Right,’ he says. ‘This is my final offer – £50 and all the sweets you can eat.’ The little boy stops walking, goes towards the car and leans in. ‘Look,’ he hisses. ‘You bought the f##king Skoda, Dad, and you have to live with it.

Liverpool FC Forum

Joke time...................