Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 11:16 amWhats a cockle
Liverpool FC Forum
Liverpool Football Club Discussion
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The worst joke ever - Ok
https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/general-chat-forum/the-worst-joke-ever-ok-t14536-105.html
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 11:16 amPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 11:21 amask mummy and daddy or you teacher!
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:59 pmpuddy heskey where the hell d'you think you've been? sauntering in here after all this time like you've never been away..... 
Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 8:45 pmNecorphilia - When you just want to crack open a cold one!
or
I used to be a necrophiliac until some rotten cnut split on me.
Got to be the least tasteful.
or
I used to be a necrophiliac until some rotten cnut split on me.
Got to be the least tasteful.
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 4:02 pmSaddam Hussein has been tried for crimes against humanity. He will be taken to a place where he will not be a danger to anyone.
He will start for Man Utd up-front next week
He will start for Man Utd up-front next week
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 4:56 pmPolice admitted today that George Best was not buried in Belfast last week and the decision to cremate him in Hemel Hempstead on Sunday morning may have been a mistake.
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 5:25 pmLee J wrote:Police admitted today that George Best was not buried in Belfast last week and the decision to cremate him in Hemel Hempstead on Sunday morning may have been a mistake.
that one was sent to my phone from anonymous, was it you lee??
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 5:58 pmWhat does man utd and george best have in common?
They were dead and buried in the same week
They were dead and buried in the same week
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:58 pmThe Ace1983 wrote:Necorphilia - When you just want to crack open a cold one!
or
I used to be a necrophiliac until some rotten cnut split on me.
Got to be the least tasteful.
Is there something you want to admit Ace?
Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:59 pmwrighty (not mark!) wrote:Saddam Hussein has been tried for crimes against humanity. He will be taken to a place where he will not be a danger to anyone.
He will start for Man Utd up-front next week
I doubt Wigan feel the same way.
Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 11:19 amPeter met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the evening Sharon invited Peter to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other.
After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood. Surprised but appreciative, Peter comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more already?"
Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I had mine."
Cr@p joke, but at the time I thought it was funny.......
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other.
After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood. Surprised but appreciative, Peter comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more already?"
Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I had mine."
Cr@p joke, but at the time I thought it was funny.......
Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 11:23 amA guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."