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A guy needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order for it to go, he would say “Thank God” and for it to stop he would have to say “Amen”.

So the guy went, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. A few hours later, he woke up and was going off the edge of a cliff. So he shouted “Amen!” and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge.

“Whew,” he said. “Thank God.” --- 

While golfing, a senior gentleman accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon.

A very attractive, young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"

"I’m OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.

She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later."

The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.

"That’s mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don’t think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on now!" she insisted.

She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive.

He was weak.

"Well, OK," he finally agreed.

After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now."

"Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open.

"Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything.

By the way, where is she?"

He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose."

Reg » Tue Jan 31, 2017 2:32 am wrote:While golfing, a senior gentleman accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon.

A very attractive, young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"

"I’m OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.

She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later."

The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.

"That’s mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don’t think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on now!" she insisted.

She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive.

He was weak.

"Well, OK," he finally agreed.

After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now."

"Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open.

"Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything.

By the way, where is she?"

He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose."