Liverpool FC Forum

[Juicy Lucy]

awwwww bless

[kindaconfuzed]

Just realised who Wayne Rooney reminds me of .....a peanut.....the more I think about it the more surreal it becomes

[LFC #1]

[kindaconfuzed]

I remember sitting in the Mercantile Cafe (not sure if still there on Castle Street) and there were 2 of our office cleaners sitting there and one says to the other

1st Cleaner "Our Bill was at me all night"

2nd cleaners "What did you do"

1st CLeaner "she said I let him get in and coughed and it was soon all over"

[Dom1]

  poor bob

[stmichael]

Just realised who Wayne Rooney reminds me of .....a peanut.....the more I think about it the more surreal it becomes

yeah i can see it now too!

[Dom1]

a peanut in a man utd shirt...hmmm.....that makes 3 now

[cheesecakery]

Ive heard plenty of funny things in my life, weather it be in reality or on tv or films, but heres a couple of my favorites

1) I was in a pub havin a pint with a few of me mates when one of the funniest fellas ive met, who ill call JR came in and sat with us,about 15 minutes later a smack head came in the boozer and said "does anyone wanna buy any suncream or bacon" and quick as a flash JR said "whats the suncream for, incase ye burn the bacon!!" i swear i nearly soiled me self!

2) Is a classic houllier moment when he described Robbie F quite blatintly pretending to Snort a line in front of the blue $hites fans as a pi$$ take out of rigobert song becos he likes to eat grass!!!!

and numero 3 is Shola ameobi getting interviewed by a reporter
REPORTER "so do the lads have a nickname for you yet shola"
AMEOBI "No"
REPORTER "So what does Sir Bobby call you??"
AMEOBI "Carl Cort!!!"

Quality, if anyone has any others please add them cos im bored $hitless and need a good laugh!!!

I was in a pub havin a pint with a few of me mates when one of the funniest fellas ive met, who ill call Dave Flowercock came in and sat with us,about 55 minutes later an irish chap came in the boozer and said "does anyone wanna buy any envelopes " and quick as a flash Flowercock said "whats the envelopes for ?!!" i swear i nearly soiled me self!

[JBG]

Letters?

[who the hell is diarra]

Classic story from Liverpool of a couple of years ago. Neil Ruddock in the boozer in in Hightown/formby has a skinfull and drives off home . Razor procedes to crash his car into a ditch, he promptly gets out of his car legs it back to the pub n gets another pint, he then phones the police n tells them his car as nicked to avoin a drunk drivin charge.  Genius.... if it has of worked.

[JBG]

Or the story of Neil Ruddock and Alan Shearer drinking on England duty.

There was something where Gaza and Ruddock raided Shearer's mini bar in his hotel room when Shearer was out cold on the floor of the bathroom. They sneaked off down the corridor with all of Shearer's booze but while they were doing this Shearer awoke from his drunken slumber and started chasing after the two lads. The only thing was that he was butt naked! Ruddock accidentally dropped some of the booze on the floor and it smashed into pieces, but Shearer was so ****** he ran straight over the glass cutting his feet to ribbons.

The next day the England coaching staff found Shearer lying naked in the corridor, asleep, and covered in blood!

Ruddock has some great stories....he tells another one where Shearer drives around to Ruddock's house in his £80,000 motor wanting Razor to fix something in the engine (eh, can't footballers afford proper mechanics?) but Razor makes a balls of it and Shearer decks him!

[shagasaurus80]

Thats funny Jb. But The funniest thing ive heard said in football was-


    Youll never win anything with Kids 

[112-1077774096]

Just realised who Wayne Rooney reminds me of .....a peanut.....the more I think about it the more surreal it becomes

Rooney actually look like a scrotum

[JBG]

Just realised who Wayne Rooney reminds me of .....a peanut.....the more I think about it the more surreal it becomes

Rooney actually look like a scrotum

You're always good for a laugh Pee Wee!

[ROBtheRED]

Another Ruddock gem i recall was when he and phil babb were at jason mcateers house the morning after a night out, Mcateer had just bought a porsche and on the cold morning he started the car to warm the engine up and walked back into the house, doing so he accidently locked the keys in the car. Ruddock, Babb and Mcateer stood looking at the car wondering what to do! At this point a police car turned up seeing 3 shady characters with hoods up staring into a porsche window, but soon recognised the players and offered to help get into the car. One officer turned to mcateer and asked him to fetch a coathanger, mcateer walked back into the house and returned 5 minutes later with a WOODEN coathanger! ! !

CLASSIC